Life’s Great Paradox

Have you ever noticed that when something bothers you, the more you want it to go away, and the stronger it becomes? There’s an old cliché, “What we resist, persists.”

I have personally experienced this phenomenon numerous times… the hard way. You would think eventually I would learn!

Here is an example:

Let’s say there were a part of yourself that you don’t like… no, make that a part of you that you hate!

Maybe there is no such aspect that you so strongly dislike, and if that’s true for you, congratulations! But if there is that thing about yourself that you truly have not accepted – anything – think of it now. It could be your weight or other physical attribute, a personality trait or tendency, or in fact anything at all that elicits an uncomfortable emotional reaction.

Now, think about how you have reacted to it in the past.

Have you tried ignoring it? Denying it? Pushing it away? Engaging in addictive or other unhealthy behaviors in an attempt to assuage the pain? Perhaps you have tried to accept that part of you but have been unsuccessful to this point. Or just maybe you have tried to change whatever it is, and have not been satisfied with your results.

I am going to present a technique you can try even if you’d still like to change this aspect of you (assuming change is physically possible). Accepting and changing are not mutually exclusive. In fact, acceptance may help facilitate change by removing your attachment to the result, thereby allowing you to “let go.”

Instead of fighting against this thing, do the opposite; accept it. In my blog, The Many faces of You, I discuss the notion of finding the blessing in a seemingly negative attribute. The approach I am discussing here involves taking the negative emotional charge – the hate part – out of the equation. It is only when we stop hating that we start accepting ‘what is,’ so that it can no longer hang around our necks like an albatross.

Do you remember when teachers used to discipline a student for bad behavior by forcing them to write on the blackboard (say, 100 times), “I will not chew gum in class. I will not chew gum in class. I will not chew gum in class.” ?

Take out a pen and paper, and write down “I am (whatever it is that bothers you about yourself, that you have trouble accepting).”

“I am lazy. I am lazy. I am lazy.” And so on… Keep writing until the word loses its potency.

The purpose of this exercise is to become bored, bored with the word “lazy,” so bored that if someone called you “lazy” (or fat, or ugly, or oversensitive) it would no longer upset you. This doesn’t mean you should be glad you are this or that, or that you have relinquished the intention of changing what can be changed. It simply means you can care less about it!

If writing is not your thing (perhaps because you are too lazy! LOL), then say these words to yourself – “I am lazy” – over and over again, until you become bored with them. Try standing in front of a mirror and staring at yourself if you have one available. Feel free to experiment.

Doing this exercise, or even considering doing it, may make you feel temporarily uncomfortable out of fear. If you knew this would work, however, wouldn’t some temporary discomfort be a price worth paying to relieve yourself of this bothersome thought?

If you get a great result, and the issue pops up again sometime in the future, it doesn’t mean this technique failed, it means it worked! Just do it again, and again if you need to. Play with it. Be creative. Try it in a different voice (Elmer Fudd comes to mind) if you’re saying it out loud, or a colored pen if you’re writing. I bet you can think of new ways to do this.

I invite you to share how well this works for you.

Share and Enjoy:
  • email
  • Print
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn
  • Propeller
  • Reddit
  • RSS
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Twitter

46 Responses to “Life’s Great Paradox”

  1. infometr says:

    Interesting article. Who knew that ONE comment could bring that many new visitors to your site. That is amazing! I try and leave comments on blogs that I read frequently, but clearly I am not posting enough comments. After reading this I am going to make certain to post comments often.

  2. Reader says:

    Superb article, I want say thanks to writer because I have read here some exciting knowledge. I will definitely subscribe RSS. Best wishes :)

  3. Appreciate your information. It is just too greeeeat!

  4. I agree with you totally. Please write more.

  5. Continually very helpful… it doesn’t matter how often times look at this!

  6. Reader says:

    This is good info! Where else can if find out more??

  7. Your website is awesome! Thank you for posting this up on the net and making issues easy for the average visitor!

  8. Reader says:

    It’s actually a nice post and great site..I’m actually looking forward to your subsequent posts. Very good put up informative content material, Thanks for sharing

  9. Reader says:

    This is a incredibly excellent read for me. Need to admit that you are one of the best bloggers I have ever seen. Thanks for posting this informative article.

  10. This is a really good read for me. Must admit that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw.Thanks for posting this informative article.

  11. Reader says:

    Hello i am so delighted I found your blog, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching Yahoo for something else, Anyway I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a tremendous blog posting and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I do not have time to read it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more,

  12. Very nice blog! Thanks for sharing this information

  13. Bertrand Russell~ Man needs for his happiness not only the enjoyment of this or that but hope and enterprise and change.

  14. Milo Dukett says:

    I found this blog once, then lost it. Took me forever to come back and find it. I thought I missed something here the last time I read half of it so just wanted to come back and finish it. Nice blog by the way.

  15. Reader says:

    Amazing freakin’ blog here. I almost cried while reading it!

  16. Reader says:

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know wheere u got this from. thanks

  17. kerstboomweg says:

    Thanks for this nice post!

  18. Reader says:

    Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  19. Reader says:

    Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is great, let alone the content!

  20. merel says:

    Thanks for this well written post….love your blog!

  21. Subat Tatili says:

    It’s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing…

  22. Termal Otel says:

    Thank you for blogging. I appreciate your efforts.

  23. Reader says:

    Nice blog, I am going to bookmark it. I look forward to future posts.

  24. Hi there. I wanted to drop you a rapid note to communicate my best thank you. I’ve also been following your website for a month or so and have picked out up a lot of very good facts as well as enjoyed the way you’ve organised your web page. I am attempting to run my personal blog site, however, I consider its too standard and I want to concentrate much more on smaller topics. Being all things to all people is not all that its cracked up to be.

  25. igod says:

    Hey administrator, I have a little request. I was just simply searching for details on the subject you published and located this post. Some really nice material you posted right here. May i if possible discuss this particular post on my own new web site I’m working on? It would certainly be wonderful :) . I am going to return again later to see how you replied. Regards, Kennith Mccormick

  26. Excellent stuff. Do you have an RSS feed? And would it be cool if I added your feed to a site of mine? I have a website that draws content through RSS feeds by a couple of sites and I’d like to add yours. Most folks do not mind given that I link back and everything but I like to get authorization 1st. Anyhow let me know if you could, thanks.

  27. Reader says:

    I suppose you learn something brand-new everyday. Regards, Cleveland Tito

  28. Reader says:

    Thanks for communicating your thoughts and encounters so we can learn from them. They were so beautifully put. Please continue with the piece you do as it is sincerely enjoyed.

  29. The article is very good. Write please more.

  30. Reader says:

    Hello! I just would like to give a big thumbs up for the terrific info you’ve got here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for much more soon.

  31. Reader says:

    Thank you for blogging. I appreciate your efforts.

  32. Samoa Tours says:

    Nice blog, I am going to bookmark it. I look forward to future posts.

  33. This helped me out loads, thanks for taking the time to write this:)

  34. I simply wanted to write down a quick message so as to express gratitude to you for the stunning ways you are writing on this site. My time intensive internet look up has at the end of the day been rewarded with wonderful ideas to go over with my neighbours. I would suppose that most of us site visitors actually are undeniably blessed to live in a fine place with so many marvellous people with interesting techniques. I feel somewhat fortunate to have used your site and look forward to some more awesome minutes reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.

  35. Breana Rivet says:

    Hello – I must say, I am impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all of the tabs and info was super easy to access. I found things i wanted in no time at all. Pretty awesome. Would appreciate it if you add forums or something like that, it might be an ideal way for your clients to interact. Great job

  36. Reader says:

    Very good article. Thanks for the info.

  37. Reader says:

    Kudos for the great piece of writing. I am glad I have taken the time to read this.

  38. kedai106 says:

    Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed! Very helpful information specially the last part

  39. Backlinks says:

    Appreciation for the great blog post. I am glad I have taken the time to learn this.

  40. Seedbox says:

    I just stumbled upon your website and I had to leave a comment, I would also like to congratulate you on such well written articles.

  41. I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.

  42. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  43. przyjecia says:

    It’s exhausting to seek out knowledgeable people on this topic, however you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

Leave a Reply

Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree